falling alone off ladders

i am laying on the ground on my back with wet paint on my arm and on my leg and also in my hair and also all over the ferns that are beside the house because when i was standing on the ladder i got a little too confident and i reached too far and so i fell and the funny thing about falling off a ladder when you’re alone is that no one is there to be alarmed or scream or anything and screaming yourself seems very dramatic especially because my ladder wasn’t really that tall but here on the ground it is just a small amount hard to breathe and my elbow feels very broken but i think its just that stage right at the beginning when you get hurt where there are two options which are that you are very hurt or that you are not really hurt at all but just a little stiff but you coddle the stiffness so much that you think you cannot move your elbow but really you just are deciding not to move your elbow because you think it might be broken but the only real issue is that you aren’t moving it all and this is what my problem is so i simply decide to move it and i look around and see if anyone saw me fall off the ladder and they definitely didn’t so i just get up and i was crying just a little bit but not because i was that hurt but more just alarmed sorta like how i cry when i throw up and nothing is wrong but every time i puke it just seems so traumatic even though its just like a glorified hick up that happens to be full of old food and some stomach acid so my problems are really pretty small and so i let my tears dry from the air and i move my elbow to make it unbroken and face my real problem which is the green ferns are covered in white paint which is a little bit funny because the process of cleaning paint off ferns is definitely not simple or enjoyable and really water is the best option but the hose most likely doesn’t make it to this patch of ferns so i just start stroking each one trying to pull the paint off and mostly they just break or sometimes it just spreads the paint out.


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